I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i love accidental penises.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
