The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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