Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
