I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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