i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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