I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize