bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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