is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
