Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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