i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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