On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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