Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
