we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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