This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
