when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize