Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize