There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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