I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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