In the future we'll all be gay
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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