At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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