dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Porn is love you can see.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
