Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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