me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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