when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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