ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
