I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
