but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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