Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
