5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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