you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
