I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
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FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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