p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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