He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am one with the molecules
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
