Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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