we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
