I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
