He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
