Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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