Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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