Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
