i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
