hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
