I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize