I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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