My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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