Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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