She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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