This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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