He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
