with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Oh god it's open bar.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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