I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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