yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
smell my finger.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
