Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
soo... how was my night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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