I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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