At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
