Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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