I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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